Sunday, October 5, 2008

What is a Starz! Classic?

I'd like to take this time to define a movie genre known as the Starz! Classic. I first started thinking about this breed of film last week when Jared made a reference to the movie Double Take, which in turn caused us to reminisce about the genius of Blue Streak. See, the Starz! Classic is a certain kind of comedy that you see over and over on Starz! (or its subsidiaries like Encore) that are somewhat mediocre, but nonetheless endearing. You don't mind watching them in the background...they're funny enough to make you laze about on the couch and turn off your brain for a couple of hours. They're not worth seeking out or paying for, but they're alright if it shows up in front of the film version of a Bloc Party album. Other Starz! Classic movies include Sgt. Bilko, In the Army Now, and of course, Heavyweights, the genre's equivalent of Citizen Kane. See, a Starz! Classic is very different compared to the mediocre comedy offerings of a channel like HBO, which are more apt to show the equivalents of Dane Cook comedies throughout the past two decades. Fuck that noise! I'll take Evolution or The Replacements (Orlando Jones is the genre's Tom Hanks) over Waiting... or Accepted. Some day, the Academy will create a genre specifically for Starz! Classics. What would win this year? I'd guess something like Hamlet 2 or Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but you probably know better than I do.

Were you deprived of Starz! as a teenager? If so, I pity you. However, you can catch up now that Netflix just started streaming everything that airs on Starz! and Encore. Sadly though, that takes the fun out of unknowingly stumbling upon brilliant mediocrity.

The Decemberists - Valerie Plame


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